Critters Steve, Sarah, and Mike.
The Critter #sorrynotsorry Awards
The media award award goes to … actually where is the media?
The Fluffer Award – Gaslight. Oh, no, sorry, Spotlight.
The Vrot Apple Award – The Critter
Settlers Resettled Award – Village Green.
The All Dressed Up and Going Nowhere Award – La Chair de Ma Chair
Shup-Shup Award – J Bobs Live
1820 Settlers Award – white woman walking her dog tells The Walk cast members who are digging a tiny hole for their Checkers My Little Garden seeds, “This land belongs to the people of Grahamstown not the National Arts Festival.” Trigger. Boef! Rat-a-tat-tat.
Lighting award – Makana Municipality. Only one day of intermittent power outages during a gale! 10 days of amazing electricity. Now for festival and power 365 days a year!
Ecoli ward – Makana muni, though the jury is still out. But few festinoes drank from the tap.
Dissertation Award –Sheena’s Standard for a 1600 word treatise on how to stage Curl Up and Dye.
Raglan Road Roundabout Award – NGK Kerk hall. More popular than The Edge, Guy Butler and Tops
Hungry Media Award – Not the NAF goody bags – where are the two-minute noodles? And where are the arts journalists?
Meet The Bakkies Award – Kingswood circle, where all the farmers park like they farm it.
Happiest Festino Award – busloads of young audience members who express their appreciation by toyi-toying up the road. Ama Get Down!
Sticking in the rigging award – Jungfrau, knitters united! (Knitwear malfunction lands Critter in a knot)
One line reviews
Alphonse: Should have been a short story. A very short story. Lara Bye was weeping.
Silkworm: Drop the sad sentimental piano.
Curl up and dye: Ding dong door drives us mad.
That Alpaca Show: It’s got Rosa.
Theatre in the Backyard’s Is He Mad: Artaud in the Township. Finally!
Last Raiders of the lost Crusade: Stockholm Syndrome.
Ududana: Smell of cowshit was sublime.
Selwyn and Gabriel: Line, line and fucking line again. Considered for the White Salvation Award.
James Phillips movie The Fun’s Not Over: White people remembering their crazy politically incorrect contribution to bringing down a violent regime.
So long and thanks for the fishwrap. See you next year.