Gig guide: Beyond Hallow’s Eve

Halloween is great and all. Ghoulish. Topsy Turvy. Trick or Treat. Graveyards and cheap liquor. But it’s not a date so much as a time of year. Before winter begins. Winter that the old and infirm may not survive. In this part of the world we should be checking our tickets around 31 May. Then again, snow and days of darkness are not real things here. We do death though. All year round thanks to government corruption, domestic murder, and police inefficiency. So celebrate being alive.

Theatre

Play Things is where our talented and oftentimes desperate performers and artists reveal whatever they’ve been playing around with. Writing Wrongs, our last Play Things of the year, will showcase theatre sketches and play readings from some of Cape Town’s fast-rising performers at Alexander Bar on November 4 at 8pm. Only R50 if you book online through alexanderbar.co.za, or R70 at the door.

The Kwasha! Theatre company, which is made up of graduates of the acclaimed Market Theatre Laboratory, has burst onto the SA theatre scene in a confetti of accolades. Now the duo of Mahlatsi Mokgonyana and Billy Langa, who brought us Tswalo, bring their contemporary interpretation of Rhinoceros, a play by avant-garde and absurdist Romanian-French playwright Eugène Ionesco, to the Magnet Theatre at the corner of St. Michaels and Lower Main Roads in Observatory. The play depicts an imaginary epidemic of “rhinoceritis”, a disease that frightens all the inhabitants of a city, and is a metaphor for the rise of totalitarianism on the eve of the Second World War. Highly recommended, it plays on November 8 and 9 at 7pm, with an additional 10am performance on the 9th. Book via webtickets, a steal at R60.

Infecting The City, a festival of performance that happens when and when you least expect it – like when you’re eating your lunch of a boiled egg and cheap coffee on Church Square – will be offering its cultural surprises to all and sundry from 18 to 24 November. Because they are public, performances are free of charge, and if you want to be at the right place at the right time, check out the programme at infectingthecity.com

Music

Blue Crime are bringing their coven to Cape Town from Amsterdam and will be sharing a night of music with Lucy Kruger & The Lost Boys and Andre Leo on Friday November 8 at The Raptor Room. Blue Crime, from what we’ve seen, might fit the bill for surreal punk. They twist the metal out of whatever sound system they use. Don’t lend them your amp. Their track Trigger is like Neil Young’s feedback gone woke. Lucy Kruger looks like she’s time travelled out of the Victorian era and sounds like she’d like to bite your neck. Andre Leo will have you presenting your jugular. Tickets for this international once-off chance are only R60. Starts at 8pm, goes to 11pm. x

Eet Kreet at The Jagger Lounge on 9 November. This one’s a throwback, and an education. Anyone there who was there will be recognisable as being the maddest person in the room. Eet Kreef was the name of the album by Johannes Kerkorrel end Die Gerefoormeerde Blues Band. Calling it a seminal influence on Mzansi culture would be an understatement. It was 1989, the name of the band and the album a crude joke thrown back against Afrikaaner kerk en krag kultuur. It was a middle finger raised by the youngsters who said ‘no more’ . It’ll be played by four younger musicians. Tassies is the recommended drink. Or black label. And don’t forget the zol to suck at with former strangers in the wind on the pavement outside. You don’t have to go down the alley anymore. If you’re older than, let’s say, 35, bring a snot rag. At The Jagger Lounge, 74 Shortmarket Street, gig starts at 6.30pm, tickets via webtickets cost R200.

Jak Tomas, with Mischa Live at The Jagger Lounge on 13 November. He’s born and raised in Cape Town, wears a mustard parka jacket and a brown felt hat and a beard in his music vid. He is quite earnest and makes music that pleases him first. Hopefully we share his taste. Having played since his first band as a teenager, and now 35, he’s accomplished. YouTube threw up Fractals after. Mischa Live believes in dreams, and pop, which is cool. Starts from 6.30pm at 74 Shortmarket Street, don’t know how much it costs ‘cause webtickets started giving us some shit about logging in.

November 14, The Waiting Room, The Champion Trees with Liv Wright. When they lay down a smart beat, like on ‘Glass’, there’s a raw young sound. You can dance to it. With it. You can dance with it. It’s like that. Bit of a carry away on the strings, but we always like something to get lost in. And then other songs get lost in something that sounds like a pity party. Liv’s got this great sarcastic voice, singing ballads. 273 Long Street, R50 at the door. Liv starts a little after 9pm

30 November. Ha! Halala! Get lively. Move those feet. Grind those hips. Shake those shoulders. Selmor Mtukudzi is playing at Mercury Live. Here to shake us out of our Cape Town navel gazing and infuse some Zimbabwean heat. With her father Oliver ‘Tuku’ Mtukudzi’s roots, she and her sister Sandra flower along their own branch. She’s the now generation. Tickets are R200 but if you’re keen for a shimmy, it’s worth it.

Who is that in the picture looking like and Edwardian Jack Parow got crossed with a poodle and Johnny Depp’s Cpt Sparrow? Fucking ridiculous. As is coughing up R1200 to go to an exclusive party. The Mirage Summer Party. The write up uses the word luxury, and luxurious in consecutive sentences. They also contain the word ‘yacht’, which takes on the mantle of a verb. It’s called ‘The Forever Summer experience’. It awaits, if you want to shell out to get on deck and sail to Clifton while Majozi and The Kiffness serenade you through the afternoon sunshine as you anchor off Clifton so everyone collecting shells can see you and think that you’re a dick. Go for it on November 24. Coca-Cola Peninsula Beverages is involved. As is Graham Beck. It’s everyone’s dream, apparently. Cola and sparkling wine and Smile FM and the V&A Waterfront. What’s the opposite of woke? Blind?If you want to tell them what a kak idea it is, you can email info@miragecatamaran.com or call 071 428 1126

Jols

Bikers have a bad rap but actually they’re just big kids. Didn’t you love scooting around when you were wee? Why did you stop? Go get a lus for two wheels, if you haven’t already, and join the Wings MCC ‘Summer Slam’ day jo on November 23 from 3pm to midnight at Stan Abbot Park at 2 Oranje Street, Ruyterwacth, which is there by Epping. Comedian Eugene Matthews is going, so should you.

XR revolts are great, but probably the most defiant thing you can do is grow your own vegetables. Which makes the Soil For Life’s Open Garden an anarchist gathering. Real punks have earth under their fingernails. Saturday 16 November from 10am to 4pm. Brounger Road, off Spaanschemaat River Road, there by the Constantia Waldorf school.

Other

LOCATION TO BE CONFIRMED. Any excuse to take your kit off is a good one. This one is to celebrate all sorts shapes and sizes of bodies. Feel the freedom. The Real Catwalk is a ‘fashion show style flash mob’, and you’re invited to walk, limp, wobble, squirve and strut whatever flesh you perambulate through this world in. Be cheered on, and cheer on. Bust a button, wear your favourite outfit. 9 November from 12 to 3pm. Watch The Real Catwalk South Africa’s Facebook page to find out where it’ll be. Seapoint promenade sounds likely.

Surf culture was appropriated by the mainstream decades ago – like about four decades ago, and is now overpowered by corporate thieves who would suck the soul out of a 6-month old baby is there was cash to be made. Fortunately, there are those who are willing to risk the precarious game of walking the line between fleecing the fleecers and being turned into a sheep. But the guy behind the Wavescape Surf and Ocean Festival is a goat, and long may Steve Pike live. The fest opening event screens a kief fliek about Tony Alva at Jack Black’s Taproom on Saturday 9 November from 6pm to 10. The Taproom is at 10 Brigid Road, Diep River. It’s free. There’s a klomp other films and events and whatnot happening during the fest which goes on until 9 December. Wavescape also contribute to a bunch of fantastic projects going on daily here on our shore. Check them out.

Whacky

A weed workshop for women at The Raptor Room on 30 November. That’s 79 Roeland St. 10am to 1pm.. R650 includes a R60 Breakfast Voucher and a stable female clone.
Tickets available on www.cannameds.co.za

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